Hi there. It's been a while since I've updated this thing.

There hasn't been any particular reason for not writing; a more generalized reason might have to do with the pace at which life has been moving lately and the prevalence of microblogging and more specialized sites.

I haven't 'gone' anywhere, I've been here reading, I just haven't written anything of substance. This account is still probably my sacred cow and as such I'll probably try to keep it more serious and closer to heart than others.

One thing I felt when I started this break was that I had a total lack of control over my web presence, my circle of 'friends' had been diluted, and privacy was something that didn't exist. My perspective on this has changed a bit, and it's less about managing some kind of presence and more just about confidence in self and enjoying quality over quantity. The end result is that each little bit of me on the web is more focused on function, which solves a lot of the organizational issues as well as giving me the platforms I need to participate in their apropriate manners.

• Twitter: On the surface Twitter is about as facetious as it gets, however it has unique functionality by allowing me to recieve text messages without giving out my phone number. This is pretty handy, and otherwise I use it keeping my ADD entertained.



• Facebook: I have a love hate relationship with FB. I hate that it exposes so much information, but I really enjoy the functionality. Unlike MySpace, FB's dev team does a good job of providing features that are handy, look good, and aren't awkward to use. I take who I add / information on here seriously, but the content not near as much.



• YouTube: I bought a Kodak Zi8 recently, and have started experimenting with HD video. There's some videos up, and I expect this to grow. There's also a WoW video or two, as I'm tinkering with the video in that as well.



• Flickr: Flickr is something I still check mulitiple times a day, for new photos, comments and the like. My content isn't as updated as often as it should, but I'm hoping to change that. I'm really trying to keep it as family / friend friendly as possible regarding self content, so I take that aspect pretty seriously.



• LiveJournal: I think this is probably my biggest hold out. I know a lot of people left, but I'm still here despite the lack of posting. To me, LJ is where the people I've known the longest still hang out. It's probably going to remain that way in some senses, but I've found myself adding a few interesting people but also micromanaging my friends list into people that I trust or interact with as well (much like Facebook).

There's the breakdown of what I'm doing lately / where I hang out. I've said it a few times but I'm pretty protective about who I interact with these days, not because of any degree of snobbiness, but I find that I enjoy people more when I can get to know a few better than more just a little. It's a fact of life that time is finite, and I really think that it's a major disservice to pretend that I know 'everyone' without really getting to know them at all. That's a discussion for later I suppose though.

I expect to be updating this with more frequency in the near future, mostly because I've been percolating for a while now and there are several long form entries ready to see text.

Up next...Southern Cal gets cooler than you might imagine...

Dream Movie! Tits! Badass Chicks! Guns! Fast Cars! Explosions! Sexual Frustration between chicks (note: xena and gabrielle are both in this). Hopefully there's lots of cussing and epic ass kicking.

Is it hedonistic because you're endulging in something that feels good, or is it just the right thing for you?

I try to be as fearless as possible with my life decisions, and sometimes it pays off, and sometimes you get burned, but the end result is that you had an adventure, and lived to tell the story.

I'm ready to close a few chapters of this book, and open a few more. New adventures are welcome.

omg.

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There's a million things to say about trips like this.

I've been ready to leave Chicago for about a year now. Last week marked my sixth year here, and I no longer feel that sense of adventure or future. Perhaps it's the midwest in general, but whatever it is I need at this point in my life, it's not here. Maybe sometime later, but for the moment, it's time to leave, not because I hate Chicago, but because I feel like I'm being pulled away.

I've done a little traveling where I have had friends to kind of scope out the scenes and set. While the duh factor on location is pretty straightforward, it really comes down to people and potential. I've visited most of the places I've considered moving in a past life, pre-gay, and that wasn't really enough. Life since coming out is very different. I picked up and moved to Chicago, simply for the potential it held, there was little consideration for logistics or 'how' in general. I had a little bit of money, no job, and few bills. Things are a little more complicated right now, but I'm in that same sort of scenario. I'm just kind of existing, and it's really just not what I want to do with my life.

So this past weekend, I went out for a confirmation trip on San Diego. I've been to LA and SFO, and while I loved both, I didn't really feel any connection to LA, and SFO just seems like too much. Again, the weather in California is a no brainer, so it was important to get a comfort level with the people I might potentially become friends with and just 'feel' the town.

San Diego feels so compact. Within miles you'll see ocean, hills, tall buildings, stadiums, unique houses, all under a beaming sun. It really felt like the people that are there are very much there because they want to be, and it makes them happy. The town felt welcoming, busy, light, and full of potential.

As for 'friends', I think I'll post about that later, but I really couldn't have felt more welcomed. Seriously, mad love for sluggobear, and crazy props for the rest of the 619'ers. Thank you. Here's a few photographs from the weekend that probably cover the social aspect. The set came out better than I could have hoped, especially considering how much I suck with a flash. It doesn't help that there's a big pile of gorgeous there, but I digress.

More on the weekend later, needless to say, I'm already looking at dates to go back, and jobs in the area.

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I had a bad dream last night, and unlike the nightmares of movies, mine are basically situations that could literally happen at any time. Couldn't really sleep, so I put some touches on a mix I had in mind.

Here's what I've titled as 'The Gray Mix', aka, The Bad Dream Mix.

M83 - Unrecorded
Deftones - Digital Bath
Tricky - Bury the Evidence
TV on the Radio - A Method
Vast - Don't Take Your Love Away
Bright Eyes - Lover I Don't Have To Love
Massive Attack - Angel
Sneaker Pimps - Spin Spin Sugar
Portishead - Sour Times
Röyksopp - What Else Is There? (Radio edit)
Kate Bush - Aerial
Delerium - Terra Firma
Enigma - Gravitiy of Love
Milla - Rocket Collecting
Poe - Angry Johnny (Band Version)

Download - 97.5 mb

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I got nothin.

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Watching old videos of Pixies live could be inspiring if they weren't so beautifully sad.

What's that sense called, when something amazing goes away, and you're happy to have known it, but a little sad it will never be the same?

Ah yes.